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I couldnt stop smoking even when it was killing me...

My name is Paul and Im not a doctor or professional writer, I was however a serious smoker. I started smoking when I was thirteen and can even remember my first couple of cigarettes on the green we used to play as kids, how they made me feel sick but at the same time all-grown up.

Quite naturally (but unbeknown to me) I became addicted to smoking cigarettes within a week, as nicotine is one of the fastest addictive drugs on the planet and it quietly enmeshed itself into every area of my life.

"I became addicted to smoking cigarettes..."

Smoking was for me (or so I thought) a status thing in the beginning, I used to think it made me look like one of the big boys when other kids saw me. I didn’t understand that even back then my body and brain had become addicted to the nicotine and the poison within cigarettes, and what’s more my mind started to make up all sorts of rubbish to convince me to carry on smoking like ‘its cool’ or ‘I do it cause I like it’ etc.

In my 20’s and 30’s smoking cigarettes was an absolute part of my life and everything revolved around smoking like; eating (then have a fag), sex (then have a fag), work (constant chain smoking), have a drink (with a fag), talking to someone on the phone (need a fag), bored (have a fag), wake up (have a fag)…and on it went.

Smoking cigarettes was an absolute part of my life...


At around 37 (ish) I started to experience physical and mental negative effects of smoking, I was fairly active physically as a young man and held a pretty good physical frame but I started noticing in my late thirties a wane in my natural zest for life. I started to prefer to stay in (and smoke), physical exercise did not seem as attractive as it once did and my sex life started to suffer from the same lack of enthusiasm and energy as everything else. I at first put this down to the time of life and getting older (again my mind making up excuses).

My wife and small child suffered from a grumpy partner and dad in the morning...

After all you can’t go bouncing about life all the time and slowing down is a natural part of life when you get older - right? I also started to get more ‘grumpy’ and found myself getting irritated with small nuisances quicker than before. Both my wife and small child suffered from a grumpy partner and dad in the morning if I didn’t get the space to have that first fag. What I didn’t know is that when you start to become a heavy smoker (like I now was smoking around 40 a day) you start to suffer from constant nicotine withdrawals EVEN when still smoking, and that no matter how much you smoke, you cant alleviate the full nicotine withdrawal anymore (meaning your in a constant state of nicotine withdrawal), so my irritability and anxiety started to get worse.


Things got gradually worse and I still didn’t know it was the smoking, I went to the doctor as my enthusiasm for life was zero, everything was a drag, my sex life was non-existent and I couldn’t seem to wake up the old urges and zest for life I once had. The doctor said I was suffering from mild to medium depression and prescribed anti-depressants but they didn’t work! By now (in my early forties) my physical fitness was extremely poor, I was seriously overweight and got out of breath simply going upstairs. I knew smoking wasn’t helping and I made a commitment to give up once I felt better and my life was easier than it currently was.

Everything was a drag, my sex life and was non-existent...

At 42 years old I started having pains in my chest (which I knew came from heavy smoking), my heart was having to pump twice as fast to get oxygen round my body as my blood contained high levels of Carbon Monoxide, I was starving my heart literally of clean oxygen. I couldn’t lie on my back in bed any more as I couldn’t breathe properly so I developed the habit of going to sleep on my side (instead of stopping smoking!).

I tried every possible way to stop smoking...


Then one day I had had enough! I decided that I was going to quit this sickening habit that was killing me. So I spent £100’s on nicotine replacement patches (the full course and an inhaler) and guess what? I lasted 24 hours and was so hanging out for a fag that I went through the bin to get cigarette stubs out of the bottom of the bin where I had thrown away the last of the ashtray the night before (nice!), please bear in mind that I ran a multi-million pound company with over 20 full time staff and met with clients from all over the world to do business deals - but smoking had the power to reduce me to searching through bins at night for used stubs! Since that first attempt I have spent £1000’s on patches at various times in fits of will power to give up and each time I never lasted more than a week (my longest ever period).

Last ditch £900 attempt to quit smoking...

Group Stop Smoking Hypnotherapy
I then decided I couldn’t quit smoking on my own so I paid £80’s to attend a famous stop smoking clinic with about 8 other people trying to quit. I got hypnotized with these over eight people and listened to their talk and smoked on the way home.

£900 Last Ditch Attempt
Convinced the failure of being hypnotized was because I wasn’t getting personal attention I then decided to attend a one-to-one session with one of these famous stop smoking hypnotherapist’s in London (2 hours from where I live) which cost me £900’s UPFRONT.

I drove down, smoking all the way, trying to get that last bit of nicotine and poison in me - and also make myself sick so my last memory of a cigarette would be disgusting. The session lasted a good three hours and I was dying for it to end so I could have a fag! The session ended and I drove all the way back smoking as hard (if not harder) than I did on the way down, the journey was quicker on the way back as I was £900’s lighter!

I like the hit at the back of the throat...

I was by now smoking 60 a day, I had tried every way to stop smoking like buying the weakest cigarettes, changing from tailor made cigs to roll-ups, then to menthol fags, eating grapes, hypnotherapy, patches, no smoking groups - you name it I tried it. At 44 I started to give up on any way I could stop smoking, I know other people had quit but I couldn’t. I liked the ‘puffing’, the drawing in of smoke into my lungs, the hit at the back of the throat and the hit of nicotine into my brain (smokers will identify). But I also knew smoking was killing me, I wanted / needed to smoke but at the same time the knowledge that it was killing me took all pleasure out of smoking - so I couldn’t even enjoy it anymore.


The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread – The e-Cigarette...

Out of the blue one day a friend said she had heard of this thing called the ‘electronic vapor cigarette’ and that it allowed you to smoke without any side effects or health hazards. Obviously I was eager – something that would allow me to smoke without any harmful side effects! Genius! I simply couldn’t wait to try one out. Mine cost £52’s and was an Ego style black e-cigarette and I bought a LARGE bottle of liquid (tobacco flavored) nicotine to go with it. There was no one to show me how to use it properly but I got the gist pretty quickly. Then it was time to take my first puff (inhalation if your not a smoker), this would truly let me know if I could use it or not.

  • I got the hit at the back of my throat
  • I felt the nicotine hit my brian
  • I blew out smoke (vapor)
  • I wouldnt gain any weight
  • And all this withn ZERO harm

I took a big inhale and coughed my guts up! I had held down the button much too long and got more than I bargained for, however right then and there I knew this was the very thing I needed as it gave me the hit at the back of the throat, it gave me a hit of nicotine which I could feel, it tasted like a fag and I got to blow smoke (vapor) out. Touch!

The morning cigarette and coffee for me are of the utmost importance...

I planned to stop smoking using the e-cigarette two days later on a Monday morning (start of the week). When I woke on Monday I had already programmed myself to get a coffee and sit in the same place I used to sit when smoking and smoke my e-cigarette just like it was a real fag. As we know the morning cigarette and coffee is of the utmost importance! I got my coffee and sat in my smoking chair and started to puff on my e-cig, inhaling the nicotine vapor and blowing out the smoke (vapor) and it worked like a charm. I felt the effects just like a fag - brilliant I thought and for the first time ever I started to feel some hope that I might kick the habit of smoking once and for all.

I didn’t change any of my behavior; I went out for a fag with the rest of the work team at work and puffed on my e-cig while they actually smoked. I used my ‘puffer’ (as I like to call it) after meals and in exactly the same way I smoked fags. Now and then I have had a little urge (only now and then) to smoke a real cigarette and I simply have a few puffs on my e-cig and get the nicotine hit and feel great again.


I did not expect what happened in week 2-3...

Now you have to understand that I have smoked for over 30 years (non-stop) so my lungs and heart and everything else have been hammered with all the types of poisons real smoking puts in our bodies. I experienced no withdrawals, no anxiety or sleeplessness as I always had my e-cigarette with me for hits of nicotine (in the e-juice) and the sensation of smoking.

I was just staring like some blind bloke who suddenly see...

Halfway through the 2nd week (don’t ask me why it took this long) I was walking down the street and suddenly stopped in my tracks as the colours of the garden plants and sharpness of my surroundings hit me like a tonne of bricks and blew my mind! It was like I was seeing the true colours and sharpness of everything for the first time – ever! I had never imagined that smoking had effected my vision and placed a smog of blandness around everything in the world. I felt excited at the beauty of everything.

I started to feel energized once again as I had so many years before, the oxygen was starting to flow freely and unhindered round my blood and to my organs faster than before and in a way as it had not been able to for thirty years. I felt young again and enthusiastic! I bought a bike (can you believe it), a push bike, and got excited about getting up early and going for rides on my bike without any pains in my chest whatsoever. My physical endurance shot through the roof – and why shouldn’t it, I was now getting clean blood and oxygen fast, my heart didn’t have to labour anymore.

By the third week I was riding 10 miles a day no problem, although I did get a back injury through not stretching (I didn’t know I had to do that). My sex drive (thank God - as I was getting worried) came back with a vengeance and I was enjoying energetic love making again.

People seemed completely different to me, they were beautiful...

What I Never Expected

This is what they don’t tell you – I was fairly withdrawn with people in general and was slightly shy - but hand on my heart - when I stopped smoking after about week three people seemed completely different to me, they were beautiful and I started to engage with people in a way I didn’t know I could – I never thought this could happen. I started to talk to people and become excited with their company. Smoking had wrapped me in a death shroud of SELF and I could only talk to people intermittently as I was too busy smoking a fag, getting a fag or thinking about smoking a fag and with that gone I found that Im a really confident guy who actually likes to chat to people!


In fact Im so energized by what the e-cigarette has allowed me to do that I personally back them and sell them and am willing to help anyone who is looking to quit the killer smoking habit.

Paul G

(N.B. Please note for legal reasons I need to say that this is my own personal experience of stopping smoking tobacco and using an electronic cigarette and any views are my own personal views - they do not represent how smoking tobacco or using an electronic cigarette will affect you. Always seek medical advice before deciding on any health issues you have.)


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